have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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