I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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