That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
