Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
