Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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