the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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