i love accidental penises.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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