ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
