I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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