Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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