So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
