sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
