I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
