the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize