i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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