The maid of honor just puked.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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