did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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