i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
