well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im holly from the hills drunk
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
