I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
