do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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