Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
