im drinking this country out of the recession.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
