Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
