im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
