I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
