Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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