Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
