is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
