Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
