I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
