my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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