textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
