he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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