Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
