Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
