i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
