Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
