he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
