i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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