I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
