And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
