i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
