Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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