So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
