I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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