well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
