Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
