4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
