Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
