We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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