Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
